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Senin, 26 Mei 2008

How To Survive Grocery Shopping With Kids In Tow

How To Survive Grocery Shopping With Kids In Tow
by: Elena Neitlich


“Before kids I used to happily peruse the supermarket aisles, slowly selecting interesting new items, scrutinizing labels and creating a few evening meals in my head as I shopped. Now I have two small kids and my creative shopping days are over. I run through the store and I am lucky if I get half of the essentials that I need to get through the week,” writes a frustrated mom when asked about her biggest daily stressors.

With small children in tow, visits to the supermarket can be unproductive and filled with anxiety. An extra twenty minutes of indecision, waiting at the deli, or traveling unneeded aisles, is just enough time for kids to lose their marbles and cause the parent to flee the store, shopping incomplete.

Supermarket shopping must get done, and bringing the children, for the majority of parents, is the only viable option.

Survival Tips

Create a weekly menu.

On Sunday, find 7 simple dinner recipes made with basic, healthy ingredients. Include an easy lunch menu for 7 days and then decide breakfast choices for the week. The Food Network website yields hundreds of tasty, easy to prepare meal ideas like beef stroganoff and tacos. Writing a weekly menu will relieve the stress that families feel each evening when deciding what’s for dinner, leaving more time and energy for family time.

Make a list.

Using the weekly menu, make a shopping list on the front of a plain envelope (reason for envelope in next tip) of all of the items needed to prepare the week’s breakfast, lunch and dinner meals. The food list complete, go through the house and add to the list, beverages, paper, cleaning, and bath and beauty products running low. A pad of paper and pen in an accessible area lets family members jot down items they need.

Study the floor plan of the grocery store.

It is really helpful to know the layout of the grocery store when creating a grocery list because the list can be made to correlate to the store. For example, if the deli is the first place passed and the dairy is next and then meat, deli items should be grouped at the top of the list followed by all of the dairy items and then meat. Although seemingly obsessive-compulsive, correlating the list to the store layout eliminates doubling back and can save enormous amounts of time.

Clip coupons.

After the list is created, find coupons that match items on the list. Only use coupons for those items regularly used, or those items the family might enjoy trying. Put the coupons needed for the current shopping list into the envelope with the grocery list printed on it. Place a check next to those items on the list that have a coupon. Don’t add extra items to the list just to use a coupon. Compare prices, sometimes another brand might be cheaper than the brand with the coupon.

Do be creative with the weekly menu to incorporate coupons, for example make chicken instead of pork chops if there is a chicken coupon. Don’t compromise on health to use a coupon; don’t buy a 10% juice beverage with a coupon instead of 100% juice without a coupon or settle for high sugar cereal with a coupon in place of a healthy cereal without.

Choose off-peak hours.

It is much more efficient and pleasant to schedule supermarket visits when the store is empty. Mornings, after people are at work and older children are in school, are quiet in grocery stores and lines are short or non-existent. Later evening for working parents, or early mornings on weekends are typically light. Take note when visiting or just call and ask a store manager, “When is the store is at its most quiet?” Schedule visits during off-peak hours. Workers are much more pleasant and helpful on a whole when not facing hoards of impatient customers.

Hug the perimeter.

The healthiest items in the supermarket are found along the perimeter of the store. Fresh produce, meats and seafood, and the dairy cases all sit along the outer edges. The majority of cart time should be spent along the perimeter. Fresh foods are, more often than not, healthier than the ready-to-eat foods found in the middle aisles. The amount of sodium and fat added to fresh foods while cooking is up to the cook, not the manufacturer.

Ask for help and bring a pen.

Supermarket workers are knowledgeable and generally willing to help. Instead of wandering the aisles in search of a product, ask. Staff will often go out of their way to locate a hard to find item. The butcher can slice cuts of meat and chicken exactly as recipes call for, saving prep time at home. It is perfectly reasonable and a good use of time to alert the butcher or deli clerk, and shop while they are preparing the order.

Bring a pen and cross items off of the list as you put them in the cart, or you will waste time checking and rechecking your list.

Finally, accept the bagger’s offer to bring bundles to the car. Let the bagger push the cart, load the groceries into the car, and return the cart. The parent can keep the kids safe in the parking lot and buckle car seats and seat belts. Safer and a time saver – and baggers often like to get out of the store.

Potty Training-A Simple 4 Step Formula for Initiating Toilet Training


by: Elena Neitlich


Potty Training-A Simple 4 Step Formula for Initiating Toilet Training.

“I’m so done with diapers!” groans a mother as she looks at the high price tag on the jumbo pack of diapers. “Is it time for my child to start potty training?”

Potty training is a big milestone for children. But how do parents know when to start? Intuition, expectations, common sense and observation play key roles in initiating potty training.

Step #1-Create a Parent/Child Team

Potty training is a combined effort between parent and child. Some parents may assume that they are in charge, while other parents place the child at the helm. In actuality, potty training is a partnership. Parents provide support, potty training tools, books, and dry clothing; children do the “going.”

Grasping the concept that potty training is a team effort between parent and child, and not a command and control situation, is critical to success. Strict, impatient pursuit of the goal puts undo pressure on the child, resulting in stress, anxiety and in some cases delayed potty training.

Step#2-Starting early doesn’t ensure quick results

In depth research on intensive potty training has proven that initiating the process early is in fact correlated to extended duration of potty training. Those parents who start training prematurely find that the potty training process lasts longer.

Children must develop bladder and muscle control before they are able to control toileting. Parents may adhere to this rough timeline of readiness: 15-18 months the child senses that his or her clothes are wet; 18 months the child may urinate on the potty if placed on it; 2- 2 1/2 years the child might alert the parent that he has to go; and 3-4 years the child may have the ability to “hold it” and visit the bathroom alone.

Step#3-Determine readiness by child’s development

When deciding to begin the potty training process, chronological age may not be the correct indicator for readiness. The parent should look for signs that the child is developmentally ready. This is especially true for babies who were born prematurely and children who are developmentally delayed.

Some good signs of readiness are: child can sit and walk well, child can stay dry for 2 hours or more, child is interested in doing what big kids or grownups do, child is able to follow and execute simple instructions, and child seems to understand what the potty is for and uses words relating to using the toilet.

Parents should assess the temperament of the child. Important questions to ask are: is the child able to focus, what is her attention span, does the child frustrate easily, is the child easily angered or discouraged.

For most children potty training occurs between 2 and 3 years, with the majority of children potty trained by 4.

Step#4-Go on now, go!

Today is the day! Parents should make sure that the child is in good health, and that the household is calm with no impending turmoil such as a move coming up, a new baby being brought home, or a parent going away on a trip.

Dress the child in easy to remove clothing like sweat pants with an elastic waist. Snaps, buttons and zippers are difficult for little hands and time consuming to manipulate when the urge arises. To reduce the pressure on the child, allow him to stay in diapers during the early days of potty training. Gradually transition him into underwear for short amounts of time as his dry times become more and more extended.

After a meal, nap, or when coming in from outdoors are good times to encourage the child to hop on the potty. Parents should be on the look out for indicators of when the child may have the urge to go.

Accompany the child to the potty and stay with him. The visit to the bathroom should be short and sweet; five minutes is plenty of time. Offer reading material, or use a fun potty training tool or toy to make the five minutes engaging. Important: if the child wants to get off of the potty before five minutes, don’t force him to stay.

Praise, praise, praise! Little milestones deserve lots of hugs and kisses. It is really something for a little tyke to hop on the potty by herself, pull up her own pants, or make it into the bathroom (even if only to be a little late.) Be kind, patient, sensitive and proud. Don’t scold the child for having accidents, ever.

DATING VIOLENCE: Tips for Parents-Teens, Part 1

DATING VIOLENCE: Tips for Parents-Teens, Part 1
by: Linda "Eagle" Culbreth



Is your teen one in three who will become a victim of dating violence?

Here are Ten Tips for Parents to talk with their teen about - you can empower your teen and here are some of the tools to help you.

Before I give you the first ten tips, there are some things you and your teen need to remember:

* You have the right to a healthy relationship.

* You deserve better. Do not put up with abuse.

* You are not alone. Teens from all backgrounds are in, have been in, or know someone in an abusive relationship.

* you have done nothing wrong. It is not your fault that your partner abuses you.

* The longer you stay in an abusive relationship, the more intense the violence will become. It does not get better over time.

* Being drunk or high is not an excuse for abuse.

* No one is justified in attacking you just because he or she is angry.

TIPS ON DATING VIOLENCE:

1. Abuse in a dating relationship can be confusing and frightening at any age. But for teenagers, who are just beginning to date and develop romantic relationships, this abuse is especially difficult.

2. Surveys show dating violence is not uncommon among teens. When the abuse is physical or sexual, it can be easy to identify. Emotional abuse is much harder to recognize, but no less damaging.

3. Dating violence can be tough to talk about honestly. It can be uncomfortable to bring up and embarrassing to acknowledge. But with dating violence a fact of life for many teen couples, we've got to break the silence.

4. Sometimes it's easier to explore thoughts and feelings using this kind of example than it is to talk about our own experiences.

A Typical Dating Violence Sceniro

Brenda is 15 and has never had a boyfriend before. She recently started dating Frank. She thinks he is so cute. Her friends all tell her how lucky she is because she has a boyfriend. At first, Brenda thought it was sweet that Frank began calling her all the time. He always wants to know whom she is with, where she is, and when she'll be home. He has told her that she was meant to be with him and him only, forever.

Recently, Frank has started belittling her in front of his friends, insulting her, and telling her she is fat. He doesn't want her to spend time with certain of her friends - he thinks they are a bad influence. He threatens to break up with her if she won't do what he says, and that no one else will ever want her. Brenda wants to make Frank happy. In fact, she'll do anything to keep her boyfriend. She things this is what being in a relationship is all about.

5. Relationship violence often starts as emotional or verbal abuse and can quickly escalate into physical or sexual violence. And although many teens know of at least one student who has been a victim of relationship violvence, most parents either don't know it exists or don't know it is an issue.

6. Relationship Violence is a pattern of behavior used by someone to maintain control over his or her partner.

7. Relationship violence can take the form of verbal, physcial, emotional, or even sexual abuse.

8. Relationship Violence is not about getting angry or having a disagreement.

9. In an abusive relationship one partner is afraid of and intimidated by the other.

10. How often does it happen?

24% of severe injuries and deaths occuse when the victim is tryng to leave or has already left the relationship.

Relationhsip violence is the number one cause of injury to women between the ages of 15-44.

63% of date rape victims are young women between the ages of 14 and 17.

70% of pregnant teenagers are abused by their partners.

Parents who have found these tips helpful often sign up for the newsletter and order the parent-teen home study course: Date A Hero, Not A Zero at http://www.eaglesport.biz

Be Safe & Empower Your Teen to Be Safe!

Linda "Eagle" Culbreth

Daddy-daughter Dating


by: Lynn Powers


Whether you realize it or not, you alone are the greatest factor in determining what type of man your daughter ends up marrying. Quite likely, she will choose someone just like you. Or, if not a man exactly like you, one with very similar tendencies and characteristics. Scary thought, isn’t it?

You have your daughter’s best interests at heart, right? You want her Prince Charming to come along (many, many years down the road!), sweep her off her feet and treat her like the princess she is. Assuming that you want that fairy tale ending for your little girl, it’s at least partly up to you to see to it that she starts getting the royal treatment at an early age. Let her know that settling for anything less is just plain unacceptable.

A great way to do that is to date your daughter. Set aside specific date nights (or mornings or afternoons) to spend with her and only her. Because girls usually love extra little things that make them feel special, perhaps you’ll want to even give her a personalized invitation. You might decide to reveal all the details of where you’re planning to take her on your date. Or call it a “Mystery Date,” heightening her anticipation even more. If the date is a mystery, however, you might tell her to how to dress – should she wear her fanciest dress or will jeans do?

The most important thing isn’t what you do, or where you go, but that you’re spending some one-on-one time with your baby girl (and no matter how old she is, she’s still your baby).

Not sure where to start? Need some daddy-daughter date ideas? Here are a few to get you started:

Ages 3-8: Your little girl is starting to crave her daddy’s attention so anything you choose to do on these “dates” will probably make you a hero in her eyes. At this age, you’ll want to keep it simple. Fast food restaurants with play equipment (McDonalds) may be okay, but be sure to set aside some time for eating and chatting, first.

Other options:

• Swimming at a local public pool, followed by pizza.

• A picnic in the park and a nature walk or a few pushes on the swings.

• Toss her bike in the back of the van and head to an empty parking lot – this is the perfect spot to practice without those training wheels.

• Pitch a tent in your own backyard and play Barbies for a couple hours.

• Send the rest of the family away and set your kitchen table with chocolate chip cookies and china cups of Kool-Aid. Invite her dolls to dine with you.

Ages 9-13: This is the age when your daughter is beginning to notice boy / girl “roles” in relationships. Make a point of opening doors, pulling out her chair, lavishing on the compliments, and showing her the proper way to treat a lady. If money allows, this would be the perfect time to give your daughter her first taste of fine dining.

Other options:

• Take her to the mall and let her model a few outfits for you. Then let her choose her favorite.

• Sports aren’t just for boys! Take your daughter to a local or professional baseball or basketball game, or any sporting event she might enjoy.

• Dust off your ball and shoes and head to the bowling alley. You might want to ask for bumpers if it’s been a while. This is for your benefit, as it probably wouldn’t look good if you got beat by your ten year old!

• Get tickets to her favorite concert (Miley Cyrus would likely be a hit!). Yes, it might be torture for you, but I’m willing to bet it would go down in history as one of her best dates ever!

Ages 14+: Now that she’s a teenager, give her the opportunity to decide what to do on your dates. It may be a dinner and a movie, a Christian rock concert, a local theater production, or just taking a drive out to the beach once she gets that learner’s permit.

Keep in mind that she may go through a period where dating her dad seems so, I don’t know…. “ew.” While you don’t want to force her to continue with these one-on-one dates, don’t ever stop asking. Chances are she’ll soon come to miss her time with you and realize you’re not so “ew” after all.

Again, the important thing is not what you do but that you’re taking the time to get to know your daughter. And hopefully, when she does choose that special someone on day, she’ll be proud to say he’s just like you.

Some excellent resources:

• What a Daughter Needs From Her Dad (How a man prepares his daughter for life) by Michael Farris

• Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker, M.D.

• The Dads and Daughters Togetherness Guide: 54 fun activities to help build a great relationship By Joe Kelly

Special Education: 6 Parenting Tips to Help You Assertively Participate in Your Child's IEP


by: JoAnn Collins


Are you the parent of a child with a disability in special education, who would like parenting tips on how to be an equal participant in your child’s Individual Education Plan (IEP) development? Are you afraid to give your opinion because you are not a professional? Then this article is for you; learn six easy to use tips that will help you assertively participate in the process for the good of your child.

Tip 1: Ask a lot of questions. The process can be overwhelming; The IEP meeting usually has 5-10 disability educators plus the parents. Ask questions whenever you need to, so that you can understand what is being said by school personnel.

Tip 2: Ask the disability educator to slow down, and explain something that you do not understand. Sometimes school personnel speak very fast, and do not stop to explain what they are talking about. This is especially true, when they are giving parents results of a psychological evaluation. You should ask them to show you the results of the tests and explain what the scores mean.

Tip 3: Bring a written list of items that you would like to discuss at the meeting; it can be hand written or typed. Check off each item as it is discussed. Leave space at the bottom of the list to handwrite any new issues that come up at the meeting.

Tip 4: Consider bringing a parent input statement to your child’s IEP meeting. A parent input statement is a one page document that states what you believe your child’s needs are, and what special education services your child needs. It should be typed, if possible, and ask that it be attached to your child’s IEP.

Tip 5: Use the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) to support your position. Peter and Pam Wright have written several books including Special Education Law; second addition. This book is easy to read, and use as a reference at any school meetings.The book can be purchased at http://www.wrightslaw.com.

Tip 6: Read the IEP document before you leave the meeting. What was said at the meeting is not important, what is important is what is written in the document. Make sure that any important discussions about your child are included in the meeting notes, and that all educational services promised are listed.

With these 6 tips, you are well on your way to learning to assertively participate in your child’s IEP meeting. You know your child better than school personnel, so you have a lot of valuable information to share with the team. Good luck in your advocacy journey!

Top Three Mistakes Parents Make when Dealing with Separation Anxiety


by: Elena Neitlich


Saying goodbye is one of the most difficult tasks that people learn in life. Learning to handle separation is an emotionally difficult task that begins in infancy. Too often, parents and caregivers mishandle the child’s transition between them, and the child is left feeling scared and abandoned. “Maybe mommy isn’t ever coming back.”

Failing to provide the necessary support that children need, to separate well, may have a negative effect on the child’s future relationships. The parent’s own feelings of anxiety and sadness, or on the opposite end of the spectrum, insensitivity to the child’s emotions, can have a profound effect on a child’s level of separation anxiety.

If separating is handled with sensitivity, children develop confidence and independence and feel secure when left in the hands of a loving and competent caregiver.

Mistake #1-Ignore the child’s fears-Many parents think that ignoring a child’s anxiety, anger, stress and fear makes separating easier. Mom or dad might believe that springing the separation on the child and sneaking out, like ripping off a band-aid, won’t give the child time to get worked up, tearful and upset. Other parents may not be sensitive to the fact that separating is a big deal, “Why is he so upset, I am just running out for an hour.” Don’t tell the child his or her feelings are insignificant.

Solution: Explain to the child calmly, clearly and briefly, what he or she should expect. Use the same ritual before each separation. For example: enter the room, hang the child’s coat, put the snack away, take out a loved toy, give a big hug and kiss, etc. Do not sneak out or use a distraction to duck out of the room. In new situations, parents should allot adequate time to hang around while the child becomes acclimated to his new surroundings. The parent should reassure the child that mommy/daddy is coming back soon and should expect the child to feel some distress. Separating is tough.

Mistake #2-Emphasize the fun and excitement of the activity-Disregarding that the child is feeling frightened, and instead focusing on how much fun she is going to have, does not ease separation fears. The child may be confused and not understand why she is being left and wondering if mommy or daddy will ever return. While upset the child is not able to focus on the fun things in store for her while mom is away.

Solution: Short absences initially (30-90 minutes) are easier for children. Ensure that the child understands what is happening by using the same description of the situation before each separation. “Mommy is going to have her teeth cleaned, remember we passed the dentist’s office on the drive over here? I will be back shortly to pick you up and then we will go to the park and have our lunch. I know that you feel a little afraid because this is a new place to play and I am leaving. Miss Melanie is really kind and happy to play with you, I like her very much. I love you and I am coming back to pick you up as soon as my teeth are shiny.” Explaining what to expect gives the child a sense of control.

Mistake #3-Neglecting to give the reunion its proper consideration-“Grab your coat, let’s get in the car, we are late!”…is not a proper hello after being separated from a child. Having a conversation with the caregiver before acknowledging the child, is also a mistake.

Solution: Handling the reunion between parent and child with sensitivity is just as important as the goodbye. The child is relieved that the parent has returned as promised. Develop a warm and loving routine used for returns. Positive relationship development relies on reuniting with joy and happiness. Using a special routine honors the loving bond between parent and child.

Special Education Letter Writing; 7 Items Parents of a Child With a Disability Must Include In Letters


by: JoAnn Collins


Are you a parent of a child with a disability who would like to write letters to special education personnel, but do not know what to include? Would a short list of things to include be helpful? This article will address 7 specific items that should be included in letters to special education personnel, to make them effective. Letters should be one page if possible, and contain these things:

Item 1: You should include your name in the letter as well as the name of your child with a disability. If the special education person is an administrator, they may not know you or your child.That’s why it is important to include both in the letter.

Item 2: You should include your child’s birth date, if you are writing to special education personnel who do not know your child. Special education personnel often use a child’s birth date, for identification purposes.

Item 3: You should include the date when you are writing the letter; the date should include month, day and year. Letters sent to special education personnel become part of your child’s school record. By dating the letters, anyone looking at the record can tell when it was written. The date the letter was sent may be important in the future if a dispute occurs between you and special education personnel.

Item 4: You should very clearly state the purpose of the letter. For Example: I am writing you today to tell you of my concerns for my child, Mary, whom I believe may have a learning disability, in the area of reading. I am asking that she be tested using a standardized reading test such as the Woodcock Reading Mastery Test. When the test results are finished, we can discuss them at an IEP meeting."

Item 5: You should include the person’s name that you are sending the letter to, their title, and school address.

Item 6: The letter should contain a hand signature at the bottom of the page, by the parent writing the letter. If the letter is used in the future, it holds more weight if it is signed.

Item 7: The letter should include any written documentation or reports that help your case. For Example: I am including a letter from the Occupational Therapist, about the behavioral difficulties my daughter has been having during therapy time. After the signature put the word attachments in the left hand margin, and list the name of all attachments.Be sure to include the attachments with the letter.

By including, these important items in your letters to school personnel, you are ensuring that yourletter is easy to read and to understand. Documentation is critical in case of a dispute between you and special education personnel, in the future. Happy Writing!!